i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
