Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
