id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
