yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
