How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
