my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
