Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
