I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
