a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
