she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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