Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
