'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
