I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
