Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
