hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
