is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Two words: nipple clamps
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