I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
