Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
