She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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