Dual....:-)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
