Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
