so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
