I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
