dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
