I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I stole a fireplace last night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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