the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
