What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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