As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
