You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
smell my finger.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
