your thong is hanging out like whoa
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
