I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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