Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
