And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
