the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
