fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
