Yo dont text me then not text me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
