walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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