how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
