I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
