Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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