Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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