we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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