Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
