Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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