we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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