piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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