Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This is my gift to your gina
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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