Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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