After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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