So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
