we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
