I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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