I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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